Has it been four months already?

Today is the 4th month anniversary of XuXu's "gotcha day". And this will sound cliché... but maybe that is why it rings true... where did the time go?!?! and then also... it's only been four months?!?! China seems like forever ago and yesterday at the same time. XuXu is new to our family and seems as if she has always been here.

Here we are celebrating her first Independence Day as an American citizen at the "Push'em Pull'em" parade that happens every Fourth of July in our little beach town.



She has grown so much and in so many ways in the last four months. In China she could walk but was wobbly, now she is steady and almost running, learning to jump, climbs everything, and dances. In China she had 8 teeth and was just starting to get 2 molars, and now she has 16 teeth! Now she eats anything when at first she would only eat things that were of a baby food consistency. She is saying English words and adding new ones to her vocabulary every day. She is even starting to put two word sentences together. She is even using a little Chinese (she didn't before). She says "Ni Hao" (hello) and "Piao Liang" (pretty). She always says "piao liang" after I put her hair in pigtails or put her in a dress... so cute! Oh... did I mention that her hair is long enough now to put it in pigtails.



XuXu is also sporting quite the Cali-girl tan.


She has become a water baby and loves to play in the pool, tub or ocean.


She has gone from waking up crying several times in the night and waking up crying in the morning to sleeping soundly and waking up happy. She has definitely grown taller and heavier, I'm sporting the biceps to prove it. She is so much more confident and curious and content. What amazing things can happen in four months and right under our noses.

I have watched many children change and grow... from my son Zion and daughter XuXu, to nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends. It always seems like a miracle. When Bill and I had just started dating our friends Bill and Rhonni had their first son Billy. This year he graduated from high school and just left home to spend a year in London before starting college and turns 19 in the fall. It's stunning to remember the little baby whom I held the hands of to help him learn to walk and then think of the tall, intelligent, talented, and Godly young man that he has become. It takes my breath away. I also think, "I'm that old.. I have watched a child grow up?!" And then I think of my own babies as grown and gone and it really chokes me up... makes me want to be a better mom... and savor every ounce of childhood that is left. I'm going to go steal a kiss from my sleeping angels now.

Ok Ok... alright, already

This is for all of you who are missing your Zion and XuXu fix. Things are going well. Getting better and better for me, I'm handling two kids and the changes much better now (I felt insane for awhile there). But in order to get there something had to give, and it was my blog and Internet communication (not that I was doing very well posting before anyway).

SO... that being said... this has to be short tonight. I gotta sleep! Summer is much harder with both of them home all day.
Here is a synopsis of the past month:

• Zion finished first grade
•He was one of two first graders in his school to win the Presidential Physical Fitness Award
• XuXu is saying more and more words all the time, she likes to sing the "clean up " song especially and it sounds like this "Meeee ma, Meee ma, aiaiaiaiai... Meee ma!" (Clean up, Clean up, everybody everywhere...)
• She is finally calling ME "MaMa", not just arbitrarily saying it, and she stopped calling me "Daddy"
• We have had some great days at the beach and the pool
• XuXu had her first camping experience, at Carpinteria State Beach
• They both had a blast at Vacation Bible School (She says "Jesus" now, it sounds like "GEEDA")
• XuXu has grown 2 inches taller and gained 2 pounds in just over 2 months!... and out grown a bunch of clothes!!
• XuXu and Zion really act like brother and sister, playing, laughing, fighting, loving together... that is great for me to see
• Zion called XuXu his best friend

Those are the highlights I can think of right now. I'll leave you with a couple of cute pics.

Finding a rhythm... and a little fun

We have been home with XuXu for two months now and had her for almost two months and 10 days. She is doing so well in her new life as a Denzel. She and her brother just have a ball playing together... chasing each other, pillow fights (well, that is just Zion bopping her with pillows... she laughs now, but watch out brother for when she learns to bop back), wrestling... do I detect a very boy oriented play theme here? I guess that is how it is with a brother (I only had a sister).

Also, the fussing she does when she doesn't get what she wants (which was very constant in China and the first few weeks home) is tapering off and not so intense (my sanity thanks you, Lord). Her sleeping has improved so much too. She wakes up happy and rarely wakes up in the night and the naps are much more consistent. She is getting the hang of her routine and knows what we do at meal, nap and bed times. She reaches out her hands to hold hands to pray before meals and when we start bedtime routines she says "nigh, nigh" (Night, Night). She knows where to put dirty diapers and little bits of trash she might find on the floor (usually leaves that get in the house from zion and herself going in and out to play). She enjoys helping me with the laundry. She likes to put the wet clothes into the dryer. And she has learned to enjoy "In 'n Out Burger", a Denzel necessity.

We have also discovered that XuXu is a water girl. She loves the water. (Very important when you practically have a fish for a brother.) I knew she enjoyed the bath, but that and one cautious day dipping her toes in the ocean is all she had experienced. Last weekend (when it was super hot) we went to Grandpa's (my dad's) apartment to swim in the pool. She LOVED it, no fear. She didn't even mind dunking her head under a bit. I just had to keep her from drinking the water... hmmmm. Here's a pic of us just getting in.


The next day I watched my sister's baby Giada (GiGi) while she, her husband and my husband helped my dad move. So the cousins XuXu and GiGi had a play date. GiGi is 10 months old. And after a few tussles over having to share the toys with GiGi, XuXu and GiGi had a great time together. Her are the cute photos...






Over all life is starting to fall into a rhythm and getting smoother. I'm doing better with the all changes, but I'm definitely not totally there yet... maybe you can never quite get it all in place, but don't tell that to an obsessive, compulsive, perfectionist, control freak. Yeah... I working on that too.

Showers, siblings and adjustment....Oh My!

I think it has been several weeks since I have updated about the happenings here in the Denzel home. I hardly know where to start so much has happened... XuXu saying her first English words, or using a spoon to feed herself, or her sleeping better and trying more foods or her first play date... (Here's a photo of XuXu and Jared).

She has even stayed in the child care at the Y, so Mommy could work out, pretty well a couple of times.
We also went to visit my dear friends, and Zion and XuXu's God parents, the Erbes. Stella and I have been friend's since 9th grade.



And we celebrated Rachel's re-adoption day (XuXu's friend who is also from China) and the end of her family's paperwork and adoption process! Rachel is official! Here they are playing in the sand at the party after the court ceremony.

Sorry that I haven't been very motivated about keeping up with what is going on. Sleep has been a priority... if you are watching a toddler all day you know what I mean. Also I'm trying to beat the funk I've been in with the anniversary of my mom's passing and Mother's Day giving me the one two punch. I didn't expect the feelings of grief to be stirred up as much as they were. Here are family photos from "visiting" mom on Mother's Day. The other family is my sister Gwenda, her husband Emilio and their daughter Giada with my dad.


So on with the update already...

I have been blessed so much by my loving friends from all the circles I move in. God has blessed me with amazing women in my life. XuXu has now been given 5 showers! 2 before we left for China and now 3 since returning home. About a week after getting home the people at Gospel Light, where Bill works, threw us a surprise shower. XuXu loved it and took command of the room immediately. Telling the grown-ups around her to give her the balloons and the candy etc. all by just looking adorable.

Then a few weeks ago some of the Moms in my son's first grade class (Tracy and Lauri) threw us a lovely luncheon shower... more adorable clothes and toys! Zion's sweet teacher Mrs. Guttierez (who is in her 70's and has been teaching first grade for over 30 years) came and gave her a cute story Bible that Zion can read to her. Also, his wonderful kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stine, was there too. (She has been hoping and praying for XuXu right along with us since Zion was in kindy.) What a blessing the Mom's of the kids in his class are. XuXu really enjoyed that shower too. She loved being with people, eating the treats, and opening the gifts. She would say "Wow" and "Ooooooo" when I showed her the presents. Usually the baby is in the mom's belly at a baby shower and occasionally it is a newborn. But having the guest of honor be a playful toddler is so much fun. Here are some pics from this shower that Tracy and Lauri gave for us.






Then two of my closest and dearest friends, LaDonna and Jill, hosted a shower for us just two weeks ago. My Bunko group and some old church friends came to that one. (Yes, I play Bunko! You can stop laughing now. It's a lot of fun and night out for mom!) Again XuXu had everyone charmed. She got Jill to play in a small plastic children's play house with her (Jill has 3 kids) and had Ginger fetching her cheese. (Pretty much everyone was wrapped around her finger.) She was"Oohing" and "Ahhing" over the gifts and even trying on some of the clothes. Her drawers are bursting now. I think she can wear a different outfit almost every day by mixing and matching. Perfect for a mom who is a complete clothes horse. Bill teases me about enjoying my dress up doll. Here is the group photo from this shower.



Well that is all of the showers... thank you so much for all the love everyone... now on to the SIBLINGS!

Zion and XuXu, they are so cute together... most of the time, but I think that the honeymoon is over and sibling rivalry is rearing it's ugly head. Don't get me wrong, I think Zion is doing an amazing job for a kid who was the star of the show for over seven years of his life. However... Zion did say a few weeks ago "You don't love me anymore now that she's here." (Sure twist the knife a little more kid... I'm already feeling bad about and missing the lost one on one time with him.) So I asked him how I could reassure him that I still loved him. He said "Make a sign and put it on my door with nails so that it will never come down!" (Makes your heart break doesn't it.) So I made a sign for his door.

I do always love him, but he has really been testing that in the last couple of weeks with his behavior, especially towards mom and dad. I'm trying to encourage him to be the hero big brother and not the torturer big brother. It works much of the time. (Here are some cute Zion and XuXu moments.)






XuXu is adjusting so smoothly, that I'm surprised about it. She has had to adjust kind of in the opposite way as Zion has. From being one of many... to being home alone with mom most of the day. XuXu has her fair share of "moments" too, though. Like trying to push Zion off of my lap when I'm holding him, or screaming at him when she wants what he has. But mostly she loves her big brother. "Brother" is one of her first English words. (FYI...she says "Mama, Dada, brother, bubble, dog, ball, doll, bye bye, hi, sock, sit, look and no". And can say "more, please and all done" in sign language.) At Zion's school performance a couple of weeks ago, she would yell out "braahhh daaahh" and reach for the stage whenever she saw him. Adorable... except that we were in a auditorium full of parents trying to video tape their kid's performance. It's a whole new world doing things with a toddler again.

Which brings me to adjustment... Like I said XuXu is adjusting smoothly, but I'm a whole other story. Finding a rhythm for just getting the day to day things done is a challenge I have yet to complete. Having two kids schedules and needs to deal with is so different than one. (All of you with more than one kid are nodding and smiling... aren't you.) I have to say that I'm beat and sometimes more than frustrated. My friend Lou told me that there is and old adage that says, "One is like none and two is like ten." It sure feels that way to me sometimes. It hasn't been all bliss and joy for me yet, and I do feel guilty about that especially when I hoped and prayed for her for so long. She is sweet and cute and wonderful and I love her. But life is different... and I'm working on adjusting.

Remembering Mom

Today, May 2nd 2008, is the first anniversary of my mom's death. She is really on my mind today and I am missing her a lot. Today is also XuXu 18th month birthday. I know my mom would have loved her and I really wish she could have met her.

I know that I inherited my love and compassion for others (such as other cultures and orphans and the poor) from my mother. She raised my sister and I to value and love all people and to treat everyone with respect. My mom was a very accepting, loving and generous person. She always put others first, almost to a fault. She was strong, intelligent, selfless and never afraid of being herself. She fought a courageous battle with cancer for 5 years with a positive outlook and dignity.

I love you and miss you mom. Following are some photos of my mom and our family through the years that we showed in a slide show at memorial service last year.


This is my favorite photo of my mom as a girl


This is my parents wedding day. Their grand entrance.


This is a family photo from when I was about 6 or 7. I am on the left and my sister Gwenda is on the right. My sister is sitting in my Grandmother's (my dad's mom) lap.


This is my mom and I on my wedding day.


This is my mom and dad on a big game fishing trip in Baja California. I love how happy they look in this picture.


This is my mom with her two brothers (Walter, younger, on the left and Charlie, older, on the right). This is the last time she got to see them. They came out to California to visit her early in her cancer struggle.


This is me and my mom on Mother's day in 1994. We took her and Bill's mom to a special brunch at a restaurant here in Ventura. This is my favorite photo of the two of us.

If you are blessed to still have your mom, give her a hug today or call her and tell her you love her.

XuXu's First Month OR Blowing Raspberries, Making friends

We interrupt the stories about China to update you about our first few weeks at home...
Has it been 3 week already? And almost a month since Lu Jia Feng became XuXu Lynn Denzel (one month on the 17th!).
It's all gone so fast. One kid made life move quickly and now with two it's at light speed! Blogging has really taken a back seat to the kids and sleeping! It took us a week to get over the jet lag and almost 2 before I did not feel sick at all anymore! (That was one of the longest illnesses I have ever had. Over a month!)

Anyway, XuXu's first days in her forever home and as an American Citizen and California Girl have been quite eventful. She has just eased right into it as if she was always meant to be here. It's amazing. When I asked God to prepare her to be a part of our family and help her know that this was her home (almost every night for 3 years), HE DID. Praise God! (I could have been a bit more prepared for parenting a toddler again... but... you can only be so prepared for the unknown ;) ). She seems to be adjusting beautifully.

XuXu's life since meeting us has been full of firsts.
First time off of the Social Welfare Institutes's campus.
First car ride.
First trip to the supermarket.
First hotel stay.
First restaurant.
First plane ride.
First family... forever family... and that was all with out leaving China!

Now that she is home the firsts are just all over the place! (which is so special... sacred... to us, because we have missed so many of her other firsts.) XuXu has met many of our friends and family and given them her standard greeting... blowing a raspberry. (Or a zerbert or making a flatulent noise with her mouth what ever you want to call it.) After she became a bit more comfortable with us, on the first day we had her, that is the sound she made for us and we all laughed... so now that is her way of saying "Hello". Here she is with Bill's dad and they are doing it together...


This is a brief chronicle of the events of the past few weeks and XuXu's firsts.

First car seat ride and did not scream... Hooray! (slept through most of it)
Welcome home and touch the soil in Ventura! (US Citizen Baby!)






Met Grandpa Lynn (above) and many friends, entered her home, played in the back yard, checked out her room, had "In-n-Out!", and slept in her own crib all for the first time!
Ate in her own high chair (and did not scream)
Played with big brother in her "Cozy Coupe" (below)



Watched Zion's soccer practice.
Went with Mom to drop off Big Brother at school (and got a fabulous greeting from the class).
Went to Trader Joe's (Mom's favorite grocery store! and did not scream about being in the cart)
Met Auntie Gwenda (Aimee's sister), Uncle Emilio, Cousin Giada and Abuelita (Bill's mom).




Met Grandpa Denzel (below) and Maria, and watched Zion's soccer game.


Met Auntie Rita (Bill's sister), Uncle Mickey, and all the Diaz cousins (Maddie, Gabby, Michael, Joshua and Jonathan) and had her first egg hunt.
Went to visit a fire station (below) and Children's World park on a mommy and me outing to Santa Barbara (and met many more friends!)




First visit to Santa Barbara! (and first time in the stroller since China and she did not scream!)
First visit to our family doctor.
Went to Pete's breakfast house! (A Ventura local's must)
First visit to an art museum. (below)
First book signing party and meeting with Auntie Stella and Uncle Richard (her God parents)
Introduced to our beloved Bridge (our old church) friends at a park gathering.
Went to her first mommy and me music class.
Went to a welcome party (for her) at Daddy's work.
First movie "Horton Hears a Who!" with popcorn (which I did not notice, there in the dark, that she was chewing up and spitting out all over us!)
First "Pump It Up" birthday party! and first time on a bouncer!
First trip to the beach and first time playing in the sand (got it in her diaper, now she's really a Cali girl) and first time putting her feet in the ocean. (below)






First time Daddy put her to bed (she did pretty well). Mommy even got a night out to play Bunco!
First time in the YMCA childcare so Mommy could workout (she made it through almost the whole class!)

Wow, so many new and wonderful things happening. New foods, new sights, new friends, new home... wonderful new life.
It hasn't come without work and sacrifice and struggle, but nothing this beautiful does... hard work and sacrifice from us, from you, from all the great staff at your SWI in Hefei and from your birth parents (they don't know how much they sacrificed when they they gave you up).
Welcome home XuXu... we will always love you and we will always be your family.