Finding a rhythm... and a little fun

We have been home with XuXu for two months now and had her for almost two months and 10 days. She is doing so well in her new life as a Denzel. She and her brother just have a ball playing together... chasing each other, pillow fights (well, that is just Zion bopping her with pillows... she laughs now, but watch out brother for when she learns to bop back), wrestling... do I detect a very boy oriented play theme here? I guess that is how it is with a brother (I only had a sister).

Also, the fussing she does when she doesn't get what she wants (which was very constant in China and the first few weeks home) is tapering off and not so intense (my sanity thanks you, Lord). Her sleeping has improved so much too. She wakes up happy and rarely wakes up in the night and the naps are much more consistent. She is getting the hang of her routine and knows what we do at meal, nap and bed times. She reaches out her hands to hold hands to pray before meals and when we start bedtime routines she says "nigh, nigh" (Night, Night). She knows where to put dirty diapers and little bits of trash she might find on the floor (usually leaves that get in the house from zion and herself going in and out to play). She enjoys helping me with the laundry. She likes to put the wet clothes into the dryer. And she has learned to enjoy "In 'n Out Burger", a Denzel necessity.

We have also discovered that XuXu is a water girl. She loves the water. (Very important when you practically have a fish for a brother.) I knew she enjoyed the bath, but that and one cautious day dipping her toes in the ocean is all she had experienced. Last weekend (when it was super hot) we went to Grandpa's (my dad's) apartment to swim in the pool. She LOVED it, no fear. She didn't even mind dunking her head under a bit. I just had to keep her from drinking the water... hmmmm. Here's a pic of us just getting in.


The next day I watched my sister's baby Giada (GiGi) while she, her husband and my husband helped my dad move. So the cousins XuXu and GiGi had a play date. GiGi is 10 months old. And after a few tussles over having to share the toys with GiGi, XuXu and GiGi had a great time together. Her are the cute photos...






Over all life is starting to fall into a rhythm and getting smoother. I'm doing better with the all changes, but I'm definitely not totally there yet... maybe you can never quite get it all in place, but don't tell that to an obsessive, compulsive, perfectionist, control freak. Yeah... I working on that too.

Showers, siblings and adjustment....Oh My!

I think it has been several weeks since I have updated about the happenings here in the Denzel home. I hardly know where to start so much has happened... XuXu saying her first English words, or using a spoon to feed herself, or her sleeping better and trying more foods or her first play date... (Here's a photo of XuXu and Jared).

She has even stayed in the child care at the Y, so Mommy could work out, pretty well a couple of times.
We also went to visit my dear friends, and Zion and XuXu's God parents, the Erbes. Stella and I have been friend's since 9th grade.



And we celebrated Rachel's re-adoption day (XuXu's friend who is also from China) and the end of her family's paperwork and adoption process! Rachel is official! Here they are playing in the sand at the party after the court ceremony.

Sorry that I haven't been very motivated about keeping up with what is going on. Sleep has been a priority... if you are watching a toddler all day you know what I mean. Also I'm trying to beat the funk I've been in with the anniversary of my mom's passing and Mother's Day giving me the one two punch. I didn't expect the feelings of grief to be stirred up as much as they were. Here are family photos from "visiting" mom on Mother's Day. The other family is my sister Gwenda, her husband Emilio and their daughter Giada with my dad.


So on with the update already...

I have been blessed so much by my loving friends from all the circles I move in. God has blessed me with amazing women in my life. XuXu has now been given 5 showers! 2 before we left for China and now 3 since returning home. About a week after getting home the people at Gospel Light, where Bill works, threw us a surprise shower. XuXu loved it and took command of the room immediately. Telling the grown-ups around her to give her the balloons and the candy etc. all by just looking adorable.

Then a few weeks ago some of the Moms in my son's first grade class (Tracy and Lauri) threw us a lovely luncheon shower... more adorable clothes and toys! Zion's sweet teacher Mrs. Guttierez (who is in her 70's and has been teaching first grade for over 30 years) came and gave her a cute story Bible that Zion can read to her. Also, his wonderful kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stine, was there too. (She has been hoping and praying for XuXu right along with us since Zion was in kindy.) What a blessing the Mom's of the kids in his class are. XuXu really enjoyed that shower too. She loved being with people, eating the treats, and opening the gifts. She would say "Wow" and "Ooooooo" when I showed her the presents. Usually the baby is in the mom's belly at a baby shower and occasionally it is a newborn. But having the guest of honor be a playful toddler is so much fun. Here are some pics from this shower that Tracy and Lauri gave for us.






Then two of my closest and dearest friends, LaDonna and Jill, hosted a shower for us just two weeks ago. My Bunko group and some old church friends came to that one. (Yes, I play Bunko! You can stop laughing now. It's a lot of fun and night out for mom!) Again XuXu had everyone charmed. She got Jill to play in a small plastic children's play house with her (Jill has 3 kids) and had Ginger fetching her cheese. (Pretty much everyone was wrapped around her finger.) She was"Oohing" and "Ahhing" over the gifts and even trying on some of the clothes. Her drawers are bursting now. I think she can wear a different outfit almost every day by mixing and matching. Perfect for a mom who is a complete clothes horse. Bill teases me about enjoying my dress up doll. Here is the group photo from this shower.



Well that is all of the showers... thank you so much for all the love everyone... now on to the SIBLINGS!

Zion and XuXu, they are so cute together... most of the time, but I think that the honeymoon is over and sibling rivalry is rearing it's ugly head. Don't get me wrong, I think Zion is doing an amazing job for a kid who was the star of the show for over seven years of his life. However... Zion did say a few weeks ago "You don't love me anymore now that she's here." (Sure twist the knife a little more kid... I'm already feeling bad about and missing the lost one on one time with him.) So I asked him how I could reassure him that I still loved him. He said "Make a sign and put it on my door with nails so that it will never come down!" (Makes your heart break doesn't it.) So I made a sign for his door.

I do always love him, but he has really been testing that in the last couple of weeks with his behavior, especially towards mom and dad. I'm trying to encourage him to be the hero big brother and not the torturer big brother. It works much of the time. (Here are some cute Zion and XuXu moments.)






XuXu is adjusting so smoothly, that I'm surprised about it. She has had to adjust kind of in the opposite way as Zion has. From being one of many... to being home alone with mom most of the day. XuXu has her fair share of "moments" too, though. Like trying to push Zion off of my lap when I'm holding him, or screaming at him when she wants what he has. But mostly she loves her big brother. "Brother" is one of her first English words. (FYI...she says "Mama, Dada, brother, bubble, dog, ball, doll, bye bye, hi, sock, sit, look and no". And can say "more, please and all done" in sign language.) At Zion's school performance a couple of weeks ago, she would yell out "braahhh daaahh" and reach for the stage whenever she saw him. Adorable... except that we were in a auditorium full of parents trying to video tape their kid's performance. It's a whole new world doing things with a toddler again.

Which brings me to adjustment... Like I said XuXu is adjusting smoothly, but I'm a whole other story. Finding a rhythm for just getting the day to day things done is a challenge I have yet to complete. Having two kids schedules and needs to deal with is so different than one. (All of you with more than one kid are nodding and smiling... aren't you.) I have to say that I'm beat and sometimes more than frustrated. My friend Lou told me that there is and old adage that says, "One is like none and two is like ten." It sure feels that way to me sometimes. It hasn't been all bliss and joy for me yet, and I do feel guilty about that especially when I hoped and prayed for her for so long. She is sweet and cute and wonderful and I love her. But life is different... and I'm working on adjusting.

Remembering Mom

Today, May 2nd 2008, is the first anniversary of my mom's death. She is really on my mind today and I am missing her a lot. Today is also XuXu 18th month birthday. I know my mom would have loved her and I really wish she could have met her.

I know that I inherited my love and compassion for others (such as other cultures and orphans and the poor) from my mother. She raised my sister and I to value and love all people and to treat everyone with respect. My mom was a very accepting, loving and generous person. She always put others first, almost to a fault. She was strong, intelligent, selfless and never afraid of being herself. She fought a courageous battle with cancer for 5 years with a positive outlook and dignity.

I love you and miss you mom. Following are some photos of my mom and our family through the years that we showed in a slide show at memorial service last year.


This is my favorite photo of my mom as a girl


This is my parents wedding day. Their grand entrance.


This is a family photo from when I was about 6 or 7. I am on the left and my sister Gwenda is on the right. My sister is sitting in my Grandmother's (my dad's mom) lap.


This is my mom and I on my wedding day.


This is my mom and dad on a big game fishing trip in Baja California. I love how happy they look in this picture.


This is my mom with her two brothers (Walter, younger, on the left and Charlie, older, on the right). This is the last time she got to see them. They came out to California to visit her early in her cancer struggle.


This is me and my mom on Mother's day in 1994. We took her and Bill's mom to a special brunch at a restaurant here in Ventura. This is my favorite photo of the two of us.

If you are blessed to still have your mom, give her a hug today or call her and tell her you love her.